Blaming is Irresponsible Behavior

This revelation came to me after a recent quarrel. I found the urge to blame myself for “causing” someone to react how they did. Only because I chose to react in a particular way.

Then I thought to myself, “children place blame”. Since they are still learning about responsibility.

While I was taking responsibility for my own actions, I was also trying to take responsibility for another’s actions on top of my own. I was viewing the cause of their actions as reaction to my actions. Which, ultimately, is their choice and responsibility.

Somewhere along the line, maybe it felt responsible for me to take the blame for someone else’s actions. This thought pattern felt comfortable and it was easy to fall back into. Maybe I had learned unhealthy responsibility, or took on too much. Either way is plausible.

Explaining it can only do so much though. I mean think about the word itself: B-Lame. It’s just lame to do it to yourself or another person.

Instead, I recommend that you accept what happened. Tell yourself, “it’s okay” because it’s in the past by now. Then, instead of ruminating in the feelings, try to take responsibility by making better personal choices.

Take it as a learning experience and move forward. Because THAT IS responsible behavior. Telling yourself, I forgive and love myself enough to do better next time.

Even if you feel you “messed up”. Repeat the process. “It’s okay, what can I do about it now?” Then keep making those choices until you get it right!

How to you release blame from your life? Any other ways you take responsibility in your own life? Let me know below. Feel free to share this if it resonates with you or feel it would help someone else!

Presently Being: You are more valuable than what you can accomplish

This is more for me, but maybe some of you need to hear this too. I can only assume that’s why you’re here. I recently discovered my self-worth, attitude and mood is stemming from a place of the idea of “how much can I get done today”.

I had this realization when my partner would ask how my day would went.

If I responded good, I would then immediately list everything I had accomplished today. That made me feel like I put value into my life and the world around me. Which feels pretty good.

If I responded okay or worse, I would then immediately list everything I was able to do and everything I wanted to get done still. I would then vent out my frustrations over this. I felt incomplete and some residual stress about a day like this.

Only by being present and actually listening to the words come out of my mouth was I able to realize I was relying on my mood and attitude based on what I could accomplish. What “value” I brought that day. I had difficulty just sitting on the couch watching TV or simply sitting in silence without my mind racing about something I could be getting done.

Cultivating self worth and self love based solely on the limitless love within our beings is so important to grow beyond this “busybody” culture we have. Seeing our own personal value everyday has to come from that spirit I talked about in my first post. However you make sense of it, whether it’s God, your higher Self, or another divine being; viewing yourself from that overwhelmingly, loving perspective is a great way to be presently valuing yourself.

If you have other ways of how to grow your self-love, self- worth or self- confidence, I encourage you to comment below!

How to make a Crochet Chain: My experiences

The best, and neatest way, in my opinion, to make a fast chain for a pendant is to use the Foundation Double Crochet Stitch (fdc). I linked the page I used as a reference in the image below. In the pictures, a 2.75mm hook was used, if you want your stitches to be bigger/smaller adjust your hook accordingly.

Personally, I would not use larger than a 4.00mm hook for jewelry purposes. Just make it as long as you’d like! You can also begin the chain with a clasp end and then slip stitch the other end on when it is the length you desire.

Although, it was tough getting the yarn or string to not stretch out or for the finishing part to stay in place. I found regular yarn to be too stretchy and unversatile. I didn’t try embroidery floss, but this may work as well since it has a similar, more rope-like foundation to it than yarn does. Yarn was too “fuzzy” for this type of project (but works well for the clasped chains).

Thankfully I had this interesting string from some macrame projects from long ago. It is composed of 2 rope-like strings with a metallic string intertwined. It was a very taught string.

I knotted it around the pendant hole a couple times, then started my fdc with the starting string and the working yarn. I made it just long enough to fit over my head comfortably without a clasp. The next part was the most difficult: finishing.

I slip stitched the chain to the space between the pendant and the first chain 3 of the fdc. Then I did a double crochet (dc) in the first fdc space. Then I made a slip stitch to finish it off.

Instead of weaving in the ends, I crocheted the ends down towards the pendant hole, and knotted it again a couple times. Finally weaving in the ends and burning off the excess ends.

My First Blog Post: Becoming Grounded

Being grounded in air sounds contradictory…

The best present you can give yourself is being present
— FractalTz

This is the first post on my new blog. I’m just getting this blog going, so stay tuned for more. Subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.

Aiming to be more present is vital. Part of being present is being grounded. Grounded in your body, your mind and your spirit. There is no time except for the now. Some say that everything is happening now.

I find it especially easy to be grounded in the body, like most people do. It feels like reality, I can see the physical things with my eyes. Feeling my skin, muscles, organs and other bodily functions is simple. I can taste or touch things to get grounded. Another way to get grounded physically is to do progressive muscle relaxation.

Or simply just sit your butt on the ground!

The mind is a physical organ composed of emotions and thoughts. Since it is a physical organ in the body, it can influence it. Hence the term my mother always said, “Stress kills“. Or why psychosomatic symptoms occur in mental dis-ease(s).

Getting mentally grounded can be more difficult. It’s a much longer process. I feel it actually integrates part of the spirit since it can include getting to know personal values, morals and beliefs. It also requires a processing of life events

It requires a certain amount of focus, concentration and determination. It is basically taking time to get to know yourself, your thought patterns, and what you want for yourself. Then maintaining that process to allow choices to be made in line with our spirit’s path.

If mental grounding is so difficult, spirit grounding just seems almost imaginary. Good thing we are limitless and can imagine anything, right?

For example, imagine love. Or will power.

Lots of different feelings, emotions and memories can come to mind. It keeps expanding. It can be both given and received. It is something that is cultivated within.

They are not physical things, but are felt. It is more than a mental conceptualization. These are things that are imprinted into your spirit and grow with you throughout your life. These are the limitless aspects of being human.

Any other ways you can think of to be grounded in the body, mind or spirit? Let me know! Thanks for joining me in getting grounded in this blog!

*Update* Here’s an awesome article I found on grounding: https://www.shamanscave.com/self-healing/what-is-grounding

Grounding is an action! It can be felt, but difficult to conceptualize! Go ahead and consume those roots!

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